Adversity Leads To Purpose

by Merily Pompa on October 5, 2011

This is an article that I had the privilege of writing for Karen Salmansohn’s (best-selling author) new blog:  She requested that I write in 500 words or less about an event in my life that has left me changed for the better.  While I have certainly had a few monumental challenges, there was no question what the topic would be.


NOTE: This is a guest blog by Merily Pompa

Seven years ago, my life forever changed with a phone call. My best friend, and first cousin Lisa was murdered by her husband. Afterwards, he also turned the gun on himself. They had twins that were 7 years old: Olivia and Dylan. I had just had my third baby six weeks earlier. My expectations for my young family’s life were never going to be realized the way I anticipated.

This experience put me in my ultimate place of discomfort. I had always been described as “not playing well with others.” I had an admitted tendency to want to control (aka overly control) my environment. I did not feel I was equipped. At the same time I also knew that providence had chosen this new role of mine as caretaker for Olivia and Dylan. I have since never looked back.

There were many challenges to come. Firstly, how best to integrate the twins into our existing family and life. Especially since the twins were certainly not looking for having their parents shoes filled by anyone. Next, how I might fill the role of “mom” for 5 children. I’d never felt so incredibly challenged in my life. Thankfully, I soon realized that all of this was serving many positive purposes.

Accepting this high level of responsibility (which I would have run from any other day of my life), I accomplished and achieved a sense of unimaginable purpose for the incredible role I had been chosen for. I began understanding that sometimes we are given challenges which are not meant to leave us where we naturally bend. Instead they are meant to shape us into the person we are meant to be – stretching us beyond what we are comfortable with. Although we may find the situation requires more than we ever thought we could take on, it also leaves us better than we would ever have been otherwise.

The twins are now 15 years old. At this point I realize my commitment to them has been my greatest accomplishment – as well as my greatest sense of soul satisfaction.

I also realize that life is not always about how comfortable we are – but how well we can bounce as we experience challenges along the way. When we are faced with adversity, we meet who we really are at our core.When you’re presented with a trial of some kind, it’s a blessed opportunity to choose the “who” you want to become – and leave behind the “who” that you have been.
 Merily Pompa ( )

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